Through his eyes

He is the sibling.
The one who can do no wrong.
He is 'neurotypical'. Developing normally.
And he is the one who doesn't miss a single thing.

He watches as I struggle to get Ryley into his carseat. He jumps into his without a word. Waits patiently, anxiously, with a worried frown on his face. He is relieved when finally Ryley is clicked in. He passes Ryley his cup.
"Ta-aa"
He almost is saying: take this cup and sit down and behave, stop being naughty.

He knows that Ryley needs help with most things. He brings his shoes out for him, tries to put them on his feet. He brings out nappies, he offers his food. He only protests a little bit when Ryley takes his balls/books/anything.

When Ryley won't take his medicine. Braeden asks for medicine. He knows Ryley will take his then.
He knows when it is all too hard for his Mum. And he snuggles in and strokes her hair and asks for "there", which is his breastmilk.

Braeden is 17 months old. Already he understands that his brother is different. He doesn't care. It's just how Ryley is.

Siblings needs just as much attention sometimes as what our kids with disabilities need. They need to know that they don't have to worry. They need to have lots of fun and not spend too much time being serious.
So we spoil Braeden. As much as we would spoil Ryley, but in different ways. Our fear is that Braeden will grow up thinking he has to help us care for Ryley. But he doesn't.
Siblings tend to be worriers. They often feel like they can't misbehave because it would stress their parents out even more.
There is some very good information at this website:
http://www.siblingsaustralia.org.au/
Braeden is an amazing little kid. He loves his brother unconditionally. We are so proud of him!

Comments

  1. AnonymousJune 20, 2009 at 5:53 PM

    Amazing post Anna, I know exactly how you feel, it is so hard isnt it knowing that a sibling worries so much more than what is fair or expected, we are experiencing this at the moment, trying to help Caleb understand about Aidan and Jacob, he has turned into a crier to get the extra attention that he just doesnt get despite our best efforts.

    I know as time goes on all will work out, your great parents with great kids :)

    my thoughts are with you as always
    bec and her feral kids LOL

    ReplyDelete
  2. LaurenJune 22, 2009 at 7:11 AM

    Great post and totally hits home. Our oldest daughter Izzy is just 1 year older than Norrah and she already takes care of her and worries for her and comforts her and lets Norrah pull her hair without fighting her.

    One of my biggest mommy fears is doing Izzy wrong in the way that I raise her with Norrah together. Oh my!

    ReplyDelete

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